I get really weird daydreams sometimes.

No, really. Not ones about space aliens coming to eat my math teacher - 
those are boring. I mean, daydreams about fame and fortune and stuff. 
Normally those are pretty boring, too, but - well, I had a daydream that I 
was a hit rockstar or something, and the main point of my act was that I 
would dance while the backup singers picked up the chorus. Only catch is, 
I'd dance in an outfit that basically adds up to the ads for the _Angel 
Wings_ collection from Victoria's Secret. Danstuffle, of course, but just 
about as revealing.

Do you see why I write Rachel stuff, now? These daydreams need an outlet *somewhere.*

And then I had this thought - what would happen(still in the daydream) if I 
made a recording? A CD album, like? And my cover photograph would be me in 
angel wings and dance lingere(boy, I hope my parents never find this text 
file.) I was wondering what I'd say in the liner notes. I mean, besides 
dedications and song lyrics. This is what I came up with:

"You know, that outfit itches. It may not look like it when I'm grinning and 
prancing around on stage, but it really itches. The feathers scratch in the 
most irritating places - and if you think about that for a second you'll 
know what I mean. But anyway, I love performing..."

Yadda yadda, it trails off from there, mostly because I imagine a boring 
dedication to all the people I've already promised to dedicate books to. But 
basically it'd start out with a rant about stage clothing.

Stage clothing in and of itself is a pain in the ass - sometimes more 
literally than others. And backstage costume changes are hell.

My last big performance(as in, *huge* big) had a few costume changes like 
that. I started out in my class outfit, basically black nylons, black socks, 
black skirt, black shirt, gold vest. Then, of course, I had to change into a 
costume consisting of dress pants, a black shirt, and a trenchcoat. And the 
number right after *that* I had to be in argyle socks, beat-up pants, suspenders, 
and a *white* shirt.

Most of this could be solved by ignoring the 'dress pants' requirement of 
the middle number and pulling on the pants over my nylons. Of course, I had 
to change my socks. I could put the white shirt on under the black shirt(it 
was an undershirt), so I was reasonably prepared for a quick change. Of 
course, this left me open to the other problem of being on stage. Heat.

Stage lights are *hot.* It's the side product of making all that light, 
which requires even guys to wear blush so they actually look living and not 
like zombies. Anyway, appearing on stage in multiple layers produces lots of 
sweat. This makes everything itch like hell.

And don't get me started on stage lights and blind spots. Uuuggghhh... %(

So you can see why my liner notes would start with a gripe. Though lingere 
would be a *lot* cooler to be on stage in than most other stuff.