[Aris_TGD] - 01:07pm Aug 4, 1998 EST (#378 of 391) Okee, here goes; an attempt to transcribe something that I found humorous onto the board. [Scene: A normal High School classroom. Kids enter, laughing and jostling. They grab seats at random and continue talking long after the bell rings.] [A door at the back of the classroom opens and the teacher strides over to a position behind his desk. He surveys the class with a hand held behind his back.] Teacher: Hello, class.... [The class quiets down.] Teacher: Thank you. Hello, class, my name is Mr. Morden. I'm going to be teaching your course on War and Peace. Anyone who does not agree with my methods... [Mr. Morden brings his hand around and lets the Very Large Gun land on the desk with an audiable THUNK.] Morden: ... will be sterilized. Immediately. Any questions? [The class is silent. We could hear a pin drop, if anyone had the nerve to do so.] Morden: Right. You, [He points someone out at random,] read the introduction to chapter one. Kid[let's call him 'Eli']: Uh... [flips pages] "Peace is a time of calm, when there is no tension or fighting going on. It is a time for rebuilding and-" Morden: You can stop now. Eli: "- and for growing, for-" [Eli's sentence is cut off in a screech as Morden... aah... changes him from a rooster to a hen with one shot of the energy rifle.] Morden: Thank you. I've been looking for an excuse to do that all day. Eli[soprano]: Ahhh... Morden: Right. That concludes the section of this course about peace. Now, for homework tonight, you are to compose a one-page essay on why peace is boring and turn it in tomorrow. [The bell rings.] Thank you, class, I have to get ready for next period. [As the kids file out, Morden tops off the energy in the gun and hides it behind his back. As the next period flies in, he grins slightly.] Morden[quietly]: I love my job.