Banned From Chi-Town (Another parody of Banned From Argo)
A song for the NSC, words by Aris Merquoni
(Original words and music by Leslie Fish et al)

Idly, Leslie Fish hates this song, but there have been multitudes upon 
multitudes of parodies for it. This is just one of those multitudes.

As for the choruses, I just banged out something that scanned, though 
when I sing this I tend to swap over to the original lyrics, merely 
substituting "Chi-Town" for "Argo". Of course, I'm usually singing 
along with the .mp3, trying to check if my verses scan correctly. 
Use your own judgment.

More verses will be constructed upon polite request. ;)

Now with chord power!

-- - Begin - --

   G      C    G
We ambled into Chi-Town in dire need of R&R
      C                     G                          D7
Since fighting through from Texas underneath a foriegn star
  G      C       G
A motley crew we made, but all determined to relax
  C             G         D7                   G
A pity that the Coalition grunts don't call it that...

(chorus:)
          C                          G
And we're banned from Chi-Town, ev'ryone
 C                             G                     D7
Banned from Chi-Town while the world swings past the sun
  G               D             C            G
Under the care of Prozac we had such a jolly time
                   D7                 G
But now we have to leave Chi-Town behind.

Now Captain Mitchell's friendly and his thoughts are all the best
But parking that big mech of his is one hell of a pest
He didn't look while backing up while stopping at the bar
And accidentaly sat upon Emperor Prozac's car.

(chorus)

Our Kasia dear's a fireball when she gets riled hot
And insults to her Stevie get a smack often as not
A Coalition corporal made comments rather 'small'
And they're still picking pieces of his brain up off the wall.

(chorus)

Lieutenant Trent's on deathwatch, has a few years left of life
And makes up for the length of time with depth of strength and strife
The Juicer bar he went to must have been a pretty sight
We found Trent later gargling scrap iron half the night

(chorus)

Vander's kinda sensitive about his height these days
And spends his time a-tinkerin' with mass-destuct-o-rays
And when a Dog Girl mentioned Van was 'shorter than her knee'
He took offense and wiped out half of Admirality.

(chorus)

Ch'Dith's a jolly dragon, 'long as he keeps human form
And skips the rules 'bout D-Bees with a skill that's past the norm
And when a team of uglies showed up just to catch the beast
He just teamed up with Asmor and they served a gorgeous feast.

(chorus)

Now Ru'ach is a Walker, and a feisty one at that
She tried to pick the pocket of a Coalition brat
He hauled her up for an arrest, there was an awful din
And it's amazing what orfices that a magic staff fits in.

(chorus)

Our scholars two were teaching orphan girls to read and write
A troop of city police were told to "find and shoot on sight"
But _Art of War_ was lesson one, the girls were quite impressed,
Said Will, "Twixt pen and sword, the choice of pen's always the best."

(chorus)

So Reed and Vix teamed up to shop and take in all the sights
And push chemical tolerances to unheard of heights
We found them two days later in the care of City Police
With Reed passed out and Vix explaining _Number of the Beast._

(chorus)

Asmor left us early and wandered the city streets
Searching through the gutter to make something good to eat
She gave Anya the recipie at a much later date
Saying "I don't know about the taste, but Vix thought it was great!"

(chorus)

Evelyn's a strange marine, we think she's just repressed
And half the guys would like to see her ever wear a dress
But the Coalition gent who made that fine suggestion last
Was kicked, punched, lasered, run through, and then ground up into glass.

(chorus)

Chadrick had an itch in him he wanted to get scratched
So 'e lit out for the red light district looking for a catch
It isn't any wonder when we finally set him free
Jalil found seven broken ribs and eight kinds of VD.

(chorus)

Anya made a bet with Tyler, much to her regret
When the hacker went and broke into the city's major 'net
The newsnets for the next few hours were a curious sight
They followed Chadrick's movements 'till the mess obscured the light...

(chorus)

For the best mercs in the state, just call for North Star Company
More damage before lunch than most people get done by three
And though we party hearty, don't let that obscure your view
After all, it's no less than the Coalition's done to you!

(Final chorus:)
And we're banned from Chi-Town, everyone
Banned from Chi-Town, just for havin' a little fun
Dear Prozac wants the back of us, he went and slammed the door
And Chi-Town doesn't want us anymore (I wonder why?)